Another Year, Another Birthday

step family, blended family, stepmom, step mother, blended birthday
Tonight, I sit here sad, down, depressed because another birthday has gone by where I can’t be a part of and I just feel broken inside that I am not allowed to help celebrate another year.  It’s so hard to sit here at home wishing I was there to help celebrate with them. I feel so torn in this blended family life because I want to be there for my stepchildren but am not allowed to be there. The biological mother might have taken away my rights to see them, but she can’t take away the years I did have with them or the love I still have for them. Just hurts when you love your stepchildren but are not allowed to be in their lives and you miss important events in their life but can’t do anything about it. 
It’s sad when people have grudges that they just can’t learn to forgive and move on.
It’s sad that the biological mother can’t allow her children to be loved and cared for by another parent. 

It’s sad that the stepchildren are not allowed to spend time with their stepmother if they want too.  
It’s sad that they believe all of the lies their mother has told them over the years and won’t let me defend myself against all of the lies.  I don’t even know what the lies are but I know they are all lies because I do care and love my stepchildren a lot and only wanted the best for them.
If I was a bad and wicked stepmom, then fine I would agree to not being able to see them, but I am not.  I have not done anything wrong, I have never abused them, all I have ever done was care for them, love them, correct them when they needed to be corrected and took care of whatever they needed.  It sucks that there is no real way to prove in court that their mother alienating my step kids away from me and their Father. I only wish I knew the things she has said that made them believe that I am a bad stepmom so I can defend myself. If she was a good mother and actually cared for her children as much as she says she does she would sit down and have a family meeting with all of us and work out the issues as any blended family would. But instead she lets her children hold on to grudges and bitterness like the bitterness she has for my husband for getting the divorce from her.  Am I blamed for that to even though I didn’t even meet him until a year after their divorce? Who knows what goes on in that mind of hers! All I can do is pray, hope, and try to have faith that one-day things will be different and better between all of us. After all my step kids will grow up and hopefully be able to think for themselves and be able to speak up more and realize that all of this is ridiculous and that all I ever did was care and love them. I look forward to the day when they stand up and say: “Enough is Enough” to their mother and realize that she took away precious family time with us and how much they missed out on so much because of their mother and her lies they were made to believe as truth. Unfortunately all of the fun they would have had with us can never be made back up.  When that day comes and they do come back hopefully we can all start fresh again without any hurts or grudges in the way. I just wish that day was today. This blended family of ours just isn’t a family without them in it.

Published by Michelle T

Stepmom for 19 years overall, married for 10 years. I have three of my own children and three stepchildren who are adults now.

11 thoughts on “Another Year, Another Birthday

  1. I want to give you a hug, I wish I could. I'm sorry that you have to go through this feeling. Never doubt yourself one bit and don't lose hope. One day they will realize how good you were to them, time heals everything. Keep that in mind.


  2. I can imagine how hard it may be. But you're right…\”she can’t take away the years I did have with them or the love I still have for them.\” I'm sure there are other ways you can make them feel special and loved on your birthday in your own way.


  3. You are right that eventually, the children will come to see the truth of the matter and make their own decisions about who is in their lives. It must be really hard to not be able to include them right now. Just remember, it's temporary. 🙂


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