There comes a time when the stepchildren get involved in Sports or other school events and you ask yourself should I be attending these for support? The answer is yes and most definitely encourage your husband to attend even when you can’t attend always make sure you make it possible for the biological parent to attend their child’s event. As your schedule permits, attend as many events as you can. Even if the biological mother is there, just because she’s there doesn’t mean you have to sit by her. It’s important that you go with your husband for moral support and to show your stepchildren that you care about them and that they are also important to you too. It’s really important to the stepchildren that you cheer them on and support them in the activities they do. I know from previous experience growing up in a blended family myself, my Dad only attended one sporting event of mine, out of many that I had. Even my own mother didn’t attend many of them either and it really hurt me as a child that no one was there to cheer me on. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday, it felt like they didn’t care and it really hurt me especially when my friend’s parents were there and mine weren’t. However, my friend’s parents would cheer me on which made me feel good, but it isn’t the same thing as when it’s your own parents there to cheer you on. I played three sports growing up, girls’ softball, tennis and ran track. It’s a great feeling when you have parents there to support and help cheer you on. It makes you feel loved, valued, and important. Try your best to attend every sporting event or special events like Home Coming Dance, Prom dances, Science Fair, Art Fair, Choir Concert, or Band Concerts. What I mean by attending the dances, I mean by going over to their mother’s house and taking pictures of them before they head off to the dance. I mean games, not practices, however if you want to attend practices to, that is up to you, but games are more important to attend than the practices. Your children and stepchildren need that support. If you have more than one child in sports and you run into a timing conflict, then split up and have one attend one and the other parent attends the other one. I know it may be hard to attend every sporting or school event they have, but try your best to attend most of them. When you can’t make it for whatever reason, make sure you tell your child that you cannot be there for it, so they know in advance.
With our children, one of my daughters is in competitive cheer and my other daughter was in girls’ soccer and currently in the choir and then my stepson is in football and baseball. Sometimes we have conflicts with the events, but we always to try have at least one of us there in attendance to show our support. Yes, it’s not easy to be there with the ex-spouses but try to look past that and be there for your child. Just remember your doing this for them. If you can’t be there for whatever reason it’s not the end of the world as long as you have attended most of the events. If you tell your child you will come to their event and then don’t show up, it really hurts and disappoints that child. It shows the child that they can’t count on you to be there for them. Commit to what you can commit to and when you can’t be there make sure you always tell them in advance. We keep a family calendar that is on our phones, where both my husband and I can put events, appointments or other things on the calendar that way we know what’s going on at all times. Try to find a calendar application that you can both share on each other’s phones that way you always know what’s coming up or you can buy a dry erase calendar that goes on your fridge, either way, it will help you stay organized and aware of things coming up so you don’t miss them. Try to remember these events are all about the children and not about you, it’s important to be there and show your support and cheer them on every chance you get.
When you were in sports or other activities did your parents attend most of them? If not, how did it make you feel when they couldn’t be there for you?