Top Ten Stepmom Tips
10. Encourage Your Husbands to have 1:1 Time with their kids
It’s very important that they get time with their fathers without you present. In the end, it will make them appreciate you more and see that your not a threat to them. For more information, this topic, click here.
9. Spend 1:1 Time with your Stepchildren
It really helps create a relationship and friendship with the stepchildren when you take the time to do something fun they would enjoy. For more information, this topic, click here.
8. Speak Kind words of the Biological Mother
Try to find ways to talk highly or compliment the mother in front of the kids. But if you can’t find anything nice to say about her, then don’t say anything at all. Even taking your stepchildren out to buy their mother a present for her birthday or Mother’s Day will go a long way with the biological mother.
7. Have the Father deal with disciplining the stepchildren
Especially the first 3 years of marriage or relationship. Have the father be responsible for discipline until you earn the stepchildren’s trust and respect. For more information on disciplining your stepchildren, click here.
6. Don’t do it alone
Join a support group for stepmoms, meet other stepmoms, or get therapy/counseling for at least for the first 3 to 5 years. Subscribe to a stepmom magazine which also helps you from feeling isolated.
5. Go on Dates with your Husband
It’s so important that each you and your husband make each other number one. Which means your children and stepchildren come second. You need to find one night a week to go out and have fun with one another without the children present. Don’t wait to do it when your empty nesters. To learn more about dating your husband, click here.
4. Pick your Battles
Learn to release things you can’t control and discover the things you can control. Meaning learns to let some things go with your stepchildren and learn what things need to be addressed. Always talk it over with the husband before addressing the issues with the stepchildren. To learn more about letting go of things, click here.
3. Learn to Accept the Relationship
Learn to be okay with whatever little relationship you have with the stepchildren. They may be having a hard time trying to like you because of what their Mother might be saying about you. The stepchildren are often put in the middle, which is very hard on them. You might not ever have the relationship you desire with them, just appreciate the one you have now. Need to give up the control and just let it go where it goes with them.
2. Discussions about Stepchildren should be done privately
Anytime you need to vent or have an issue make sure you do it when they are not around. Like maybe take a walk somewhere or go outside in the back yard. If the stepchildren hear you they might think that you hate them which hinders your relationship with them.
1. Pray for your Blended Family daily and the Biological Mother
I know to pray for your husband, your children, and stepchildren, you get it. But I am sure you are wondering why should you pray for the biological mother. You need to pray for her that she changes her ways and gives you the respect you deserve and allows the stepchildren to have a good relationship with you. Most of the time the reason why stepchildren have a difficult relationship with you is because of the biological mother. Because when they treat you kindly the stepchildren oftentimes feel like they are being disloyal to their biological mother. Pray that God will give you supernatural love for your stepchildren.